The Passionate Guilt of a Writer

"Sorrow for what I did to a world I created before I delved to image it's beauty, but to preserve the planet would mean the story never happen." -Nekodra

My feelings for the world I created in Luminescence in the Darkness, my Sci-fi Vampire story that I am writing specifically to submit to Asimov Sci-fi short story magazine. The story I recently send to a few friends to get their opinions and editing what they noticed. I had a feeling that towards the end it gets a little confusing and sort of felt a little flimsy plot wise, and that was confirmed. I starting to work out fixes, which of course came to me moments after sending it off. As I was waiting for the feedback, not wanting to really work on the story itself till after I get the feedback...well, back. I began really thinking about what a planet would look like to evolve the (what my boyfriend amusingly dubbed and has now stuck in my mind) Vamplien race. I started sketching out plants based in creating or consuming blood, in place of making sugar. Plants that exist without needing sunlight- which just clicked in my head, Chemosynthesis (That is the word that's been on the tip of my tongue for weeks) instead of Photosynthesis. I have grown to love the beauty and interesting differences yet similarities to Earth. A planet quite literal a world of Vampires. Is anyone really surprise that I would do this? I hope not. This is my imagination at work and I have a probably unhealthy love and admiration for Vampires. I am surprise I didn't write it sooner, to be honest.

The more I sketch and work to create the ecosystem of this world, the guiltier I feel for what I have done to it. The more I would love to visit this planet, though be careful, getting too close to a plant will leave you tired and a little drained. I can't wait to get my new laptop, which will take me about a month to save up for, but I can be patient. >.< I will be patient. The laptop I am eying and plan to get is the Acer Iconia, once I get it I can take my sketches for the Vamplien home world and put color to it. Which I will share when I do. Once I am done with this blog post, I plan to continue with the research of things so the science is decently believable. Its a crazy universe, I like to think there could possibly be a planet of Vampires. There is a world that is made up of burning ice- 6 Real Planets that put Science Fiction to Shame.

But aside from that, I know I need to tear down and restructure the story. Though I am a little unsure how I want to restructure it. So aside from some research to put a decent amount of science behind my world and the occasional sketch as I think of new plants, I feel I need to take a step back from the story. Let my unconscious muse over how to reassemble, then the next time I look at the story the answers will come to me like magic (because our unconscious mind is amazingly powerful and never stops working.)

So though I have been talking a lot about Luminescence in the Darkness, doesn't mean I have forgotten my WOVaN project, or Modern Magic. To be honest the only reason I haven't worked on Modern Magic but for an occasion added note here and there is the slight laziness and daunting task of typing up that entire notebook of notes. x.x I kinda wish I could pay someone to type it up for me, but I doubt they could read my handwriting. I feel guilty though. Its not only typing it up, but then rearranging the notes into the proper story order. I feel guilty. I hope Ember, Cole, and the world of Modern Magic isn't too upset and plotting my death. Though, if it was at the hands of Cole, I would be okay with that. But I really should make the habit of typing up a few pages a day, otherwise it will just keep piling up. I know, I know. Bad Writer, bad. WOVaN, I need to step back from to think how I wanted to conclude/continue the main story of the collection. I plan to look at that today and make some headway on that. Heh, 3 projects, my brain is overwhelmed, but I will finish them. I will. Slow and steady wins the race, correct?

Movies & such:
Putting projects aside for the moment, let me talk about a few other things before I head back to working on them and finishing this post.

Bill Hader (Agent W) -Josh Brolin (Young Agent K) & Will Smith (Agent J) in MIB III (Image from Google)

Men in Black III:
I just saw it and it was awesome. Your always iffy about sequels and 3rd's, then when its been years and years since the last one, you worry it will ruin things. Your treasured memories of the originals. But, honestly. I think they did a wonderful job. Wonderful. I don't want to say too much, because if you go in with high expectations, then it ruins the movie for you. So I will say this, go see it. If you enjoyed the first 2 or even just the first. Just see it, let your curiosity wonder if they did okay, and watch the movie. Besides, just because I loved it, doesn't mean you will. See for yourself. ^_^

SNL:

Bill Hader & Seth Meyers on SNL (Image from Google)

While I have known of the show all my life, I only saw random episodes here and there. Why I never watched more is beyond me. Love the show. Always enjoyed the random ones I saw, so why I didn't actively watch it every Saturday, I will never understand. But since staying with my dad, I watch it every week. I have fallen for Bill Hader. He is my favorite, while the current cast is awesome and its sad to see Kristen Wiig leave, but we will see more of her, I hear she was many projects in the works. But while the entire cast is amazing, Bill Hader is my favorite. I have seen many of his other movies and liked him, I didn't realize his name and take notice, (that tends to happen a lot. I will like someone, but then they play one role that really sticks out and then you realize you have seen and enjoyed them in many other movies, you just didn't really put the name to the face and keep tabs.) But anyways, Bill Hader is awesome and I am slowly working on watching all of SNL through Netflix, which has from the beginning till 2010.

Bill Hader (Image found with Google)

While my main love is Vampires, I do love a good laugh. I love wit. Vampires and Wit, if you want to know what to use to seduce me. Get a Vampire comedian, scratch that, be a Vampire comedian and seek me out. Turning Bill Hader in to a Vampire wouldn't be a bad idea, also. <.<; *cough* Please?

No,no, who knows if he would want that, don't force it upon someone. That is how we get those depressed Vampires. So anyways, I tend to fall for Vampires and those who can get me to snort. Yes, if I laugh hard enough, I snort. People seem to think its cute and try to get me to do it again. >//< My boyfriend thought about making a drinking game with it, but discovered he was too good at making me laugh and everyone would have died. 110 shots in 10 minutes. I think it was also 2 am and everything is funny at 2am, I blame sleep deprivation for that insane fit of giggles with many snorts. My nickname on one of my softball teams was Laughalot. Get it, Lancelot, Laughalot? 9 year old's are so witty. I think in middle school someone used to call me Gigglebox...?

I love humor, just because I have my grouchy days doesn't mean I enjoy being upset. In fact I hate being upset. I love my boyfriend, he somehow knows the perfect moment to insert something humorous when I am crying or ranting, and turns my emotions on a dime. I love him, so much. Now if only he was a vampire... <.< I am kidding, love him even if he isn't a vampire. But have you ever laughed and cry at the same time? Its a strange sensation.

Back to Vampires and wit- I have a list of actors who I would love so see play a role of a Vampire, Bill Hader has just been added to the list. If I manged to miss it on his IMDB list of movies and he has played a vampire, you better leave a comment with the name of said movie. Though, I can't really take David Tennant off the list, >.< so close though in the Fright Night remake, which I still love. Watched again last night. Also not so sure about Nicholas Cage, Love Bites, that was a....interesting movie. >.< I think I will keep him on the list, in hopes of another Vampire role, though again...that movie is strange, was he even really a Vampire, or just crazy? I may need to watch it again, I don't remember it very well. I also still need to go see Dark Shadows with Johnny Depp, then he can be crossed off, once I see it that is.

Okay, I have rambled on enough. ^_^; Instead talking about Vampires, I should go work on my stories. If your in Washington, enjoy this day of sun, because I did a rain dance for the Gods and it looks like they were pleased and I can crawl out from this rock tomorrow to enjoy the comfortable chill of rain. Thank you Gods. Now if you guys could give me feedback on whats wrong with my Vampire Dance, that would be wonderful so I can please you and get my Vampire comedian.

Thanks,
Nekodra
Nekodra-blog@hotmail.com
@Nekodra

Still would love tips for indie publishing through Amazon from my previous post, Little Advice/Help

Little Advice/Help

Asking for Advice:

I would like to ask for advice/help from any independent authors who come across this blog post.
While the books I would like to publish through Amazon at some point are not done, I am trying to make sure I understand the process before I finish one of the books so I am ready when they are.

Question 1: I was reading through Amazons page on KDP, and such, it mentioned that I have to have exclusive rights to my book to publish them. Do I have to do anything special, pay some company in order to claim I own my book- as in copy right or something- or is it by default mine unless I sold it to a publishing company?

Question 2: What about commissioning the cover of the book? I have commissioned it from a friend and she knows I want it for a book cover. Am I golden to use it as the cover with amazon, because I have permission from the artist?

Question 3: Is there a link you can give me to a good source for independent publishing, in case I have any other questions about the process?

Question 4: What do you suggest about editing? I know there will be errors that I won't catch and I would like to fix that, what do you suggest for getting a story edited before publishing?

Thank you so much, for anyone who helps me to answer these questions!
I have read various tips and such in blogs, but it never hurts to have a nice large rang of advice on a topic.

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About WOVaN Project & Modern Magic:

The search is finished! I did find the story. I also found a whole bunch of old crappy stories I wrote 11 years ago as well. I did find a few old Floppy's which could have more stories. I am glad my parents haven't gotten rid of their old tower yet, we have a new one, but the old one is still nearby and it has a floppy drive, at some point I will boot that old puppy up and about a half hour later I can pop in the floppy and see what is on it, assuming they still work.

WOVaN is coming together nicely. If you haven't guessed yet, WOVaN is going to be a collection of short stories. It will be a series- I have MANY short stories. The first won't have too many, a small collection. There is a completely new story-ish, the first paragraph is from an old story I found, but after that is all new that I have been working on. I think it's at 3,000 words, it might end up as a Novelette and be the focus story of the collection and then a couple shorter stories. We will see how it goes. One story you may recognize from here, but I changed and edited it. Then some older stories I wrote years ago- fixed up and edited.

One of many Shrimp we caught. Big suckers.

I am still working on Modern Magic too, right now its sort of just typing up notes from when I didn't have a laptop (which is a LOT) and then trying to organize them in the proper storyline order. Kind of a daunting task at the moment.

How I am doing:

Started my new job last Tuesday! I work 4-10. Yeah, that is right, three day weekends baby. I think I am going to love this job! NDA doesn't let me talk details, but I work for Microsoft thru Volt, game testing. Don't look to me for leaks, I want to keep my job. XP Lol, but I am enjoying it. Bugging and Crashing a Natal (Kinect) game. Fun, fun. The people I work with are so much fun. I have finally found the perfect work environment. I don't want to leave this job anytime soon!

Me and a Shrimp. See! Big suckers.

Also speaking of fun, that last weekend with that super warm and sunny-ness- while me and the sun don't get along, I had a fun and packed weekend.

Friday- I went shrimping with my dad, grandpa and uncle Scotty. Spent time on my grandpa's boat from 6am to about 5pm. Good times. I am happiest on a boat. I want to have my own boat one day and just spend hours out on the water, perhaps a few nights. I love laying down on a boat and rocking in the waves. So calming. I can't describe how relaxing being on a boat is for me. Being on a boat rids me of nausea, that's how relaxing it is.

Cute little Dwarf Cuttlefish.

Saturday- I went to Pike Place Market for the first time- I know, whats wrong with me? I have lived near Seattle my whole life and I had never been to Pike Place. But I enjoyed it, and now that I have a job I want to go back and buy things. Several things. I will go back sometime later this summer. Me and my mom also went to the Seattle Aquarium. I love that place. I love getting to see all sorts of sea life, so beautiful. Also cute. I think my favorite part of the Aquarium is the Octopus and the Harbor Seals. Then- is it horrible that I went to the aquarium, loved and enjoyed seeing all the sea life and then I went to have dinner at Ivar's? <.< I love sea life both to observing and also eating. yum. ^_^


Oh, lets go to Book corner for a moment:

 I still have so many books I want to read, I have over 120 samples waiting to be read and about 34 books I bought or found for free waiting to be read. I recently finished reading Gunship by John Davis. (The links are for Amazon) I believe the third book is due to be released soon, but I am not sure when. I haven't read the second book yet, Glimmeria, but it is on my list- in fact I should grab the sample to remind me. I did rather enjoy the book. It had a nice Firefly feel to it. I can match parallels to some of the characters. While the format of the books was hard to get used to, it was a great story. You grow to like the characters and so you want to continue to see how they are, if they are okay. If you enjoyed the show firefly, you will surely enjoy Gunship.

Right now I am currently catching up on Asimov magazine and then I will be back to reading Blood Skies by Steven Montano (@Daezarkian) Which I HIGHLY recommend. I haven't finished it yet, I am only on chapter 3, but I have to say: The world Steven Montano has eloquently painted with words is breathtaking & marvelous.

Me at Snoqualmie Falls on Mothers day

I don't know if this really fits into book corner, its a blog. I stumbled across @Suzisquared on twitter last night and by proxy I found her blog - Vampire Sexual Secrets. I have read a good deal of it by now and I will read more later tonight. But I have fallen in love with her blog and her Vampires. Ideal. That is the best word I can use. I have been seeking out Vampire since I was 4- so ever since I can remember I have gotten my hands on anything Vampire I could and while I will enjoy them on some level, some not, some I do love, but more often then not I would feel something is missing. Her Vampires, are probably the only ones that have made me feel- 'I finally found it.' Like I can take a breath and relax because I have found what I have been looking for all my life. I can't wait to get to the actual story, I am so excited. I have been reading through the other parts of her blog, which talk about her Vampires, the characters, and explaining things. Then I will read the actual story, which I am antici------------pating. Sorry, Rocky Horror Picture Show, can't help it.

Oh, and have you seen the English trailer for Kingdom Hearts? I am so excited to play! Can't wait! Already pre-ordered at Gamestop, and there will be a collectors edition through Gamestop, so when that is pre-orderable I will upgrade to that. Release date is nearly here! 7/31/12!

Alright, I think I have talked enough. Sorry for the lack of Short Story or a WOTDS. Had a busy first week of work, still getting used to it and I am feeling a little off. So what writing I can do I am putting towards WOVaN right now. This blog post- I have been slowly working on since last week. So my apologies, next post I will see what I can put together for you to read. For now, if you haven't read some of my other stories here is the WOTDS Guide and Short Stories Guide. I will leave you with that and back to editing WOVaN for me.

~Nekodra
Nekodra-blog@hotmail.com
@Nekodra

A WOVaN Questions of Plans

Sorry its been a while, distraction, projects, and was feeling under the weather for a few days.

I purpose a question-

Modern Day Magic:

If your a new reader perfect, if you saw Modern Day Magic or Modern Magic written on the spine of a book that's chillin' on a shelf would you pick it up and read the summary? What would you expect it to be about? --  Please comment your response to this question or email it to Nekodra-Blog@hotmail.com

If your a returning reader, well forget what you have heard so far about the story, if you can set that known knowledge aside, understandable if not, once you know something it changes your perceptive. What would you expect a story titled Modern Day Magic or Modern Magic to be about? Would you pick up a book titled that? Knowing what its about, does it have your interest? -- Please leave a comment with your response or email it to Nekodra-Blog@hotmail.com

I am just curious if this title fits this series. I am having 'is this the right title?' worry. Does it fit the book, does it catch peoples eyes? I figured who better to ask then my readers or those who stumbled across this blog entry. ^_^; I am worried it doesn't give the image I want it to and the more I think about it, I feel it fits but that could just be that I have been calling it that for months now and gotten used to it. Though I omitted day, and I am growing to like 'Modern Magic'. The Modern Magic Series. But its hard for me to answer that question. There is going to be a lot of magic in the story, but first and foremost its a Vampire story, and Modern Magic says magic not Vampire. But what would fit, that speaks both Vampire, Magic, and a little fairy tale?

What about Bloody Magic or Bloody Hell? While I want it to be humorous and sometimes light hearted, it is also going to be a horror book. Bloody Magic, I think works on multiple levels. But does it give the right image? x.x Normally I feel my titles work well, but for some reason I am getting unsure about calling it Modern Magic.

You Missed a Spot By Miha - Her Deviant Art

I still have time before the story is to be publish, lots typed up, but it still needs lots of work. ^_^; So for now I will just refer to it as my Modern Magic novel, but the official title is not set in stone. When I do eventually publish it, I will be sure to leave a link and title.

I do have a side project I am working on that I have dubbed WOVaN, which are the initials. Unlike Modern Magic where I am unsure, I absolutely like the way the initials worked out and I like the title WOVaN. I am still heavily working on Modern Magic, but everyday I am also working on this smaller project, that will likely be published well before Modern Magic, because its not a novel series -well- it is a series, but not the same. You will see when the first book is ready to publish. ^_~

The cover art has been commissioned and I look forward to seeing the result. Its being done by my amazingly talented friend, Miha. She is the artist that the image I used for my Twitter picture.

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 Yay, I finally found a picture from Sakura-con of my cosplay, I am the blue one. He also has LOTS of picture of other cosplays if you want to look at them. If you also took a picture of us at some point during the con I would love to see them, thanks!

This was found on Flickr and taken by DTJAAAAM

Those who follow me on twitter already read some of this, but I will put it on my blog because I can actually talk about it- I have such issues with the 140 character limit! Another reason I should finish with the facebook page, most of the time I really only need another 10 characters, but like Corbin Bernsen from psych, I could post a bit of a longer 'tweet' and share it to twitter.

So Van Helsing, the awesome movie from 2004 with Hug Jackman, Kate Beckinsale and Richard Roxburgh- I love that movie! I am not sure how I feel, I just found out they plan to do a  reboot of it and Tim Cruise is playing Van Helsing. I Love Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing. If the Gods are kind maybe Alan Rickman will be cast as Dracula- then I would squeal aloud like the fan girl inside me which I haven't done since highschool <.<; and that one 10th Doctor cosplay a few years ago... *cough* IF Alan Rickman by some miracle was cast Dracula, I fully admit he would not be Dracula in my mind, but a Vampire Severus. We all have our fanfics that play out in our minds from things we read, or watch, right? I am not the only one that does this am I? Though I keep mine to myself, I will never post a fanfiction anywhere, they are personal and the bulk is someone else's world. Plus I will admit, I tend to image certain characters as vampires. Okay, I tend to change most stories/movies/shows to involve vampires, in my mind. So all my personal fanfictions is just me bending the story to include and accommodate Vampires-- Back on topic of Van Helsing Reboot, of course this is just all me being very hopeful that something amazing comes from the reboot- I LOVE the original. It will always have a special place in my heart regardless of the outcome of this reboot. I watched Van Helsing twice while working on Modern Magic yesterday, for awesome background noise and the sexy distraction of Dracula. *cough* So if the universe wants to be awesome, someone of my list of actors I would like to see as Vampires will get cast as Dracula in this reboot. Keeping my fingers crossed. Though regardless of casting, I will watch the movie when it comes out because I am sucker for anything Vampire. Well almost anything -well- yes if it has vampires I will watch or read it no matter what. Whither I end up liking it is a completely different story, but if it includes Vampires and I cross paths with it, I will be drawn to it and won't get it out of my head till I give it a shot, for curiosity sake and for my love of Vampires.

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There won't be a WOTDS today, but instead I am going to post a few quotes from Modern Magic, a couple others from a the WOVaN project. Let me know if the quotes have your curious about the stories. ^_^

"..Eyes glinted from the nearby porch light reflecting off them now that he was standing, his grin became soft. His whole demeanor inviting, calling. Hypnotizing. Like the Evil witch tempting children with a candied house of death.

“Again with the yet.”

“Come on, take a chance.”

“A chance of Russian Roulette.”..." - Current title: 'Modern Magic' by Nekodra K.D. LaCroix

"...Patted paws with deadly claws scratched the dirt and another howl rang through the woods, deafening from behind her, the hot breath sending terror through her body..." - WOVaN Project by Nekodra K.D. LaCroix

"....“If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask me. I am just putting away-” She peeked her head around the corner and almost dropped the books in her arm. “-some books...” Last night flash back in her mind, his hand holding tight to her upper arm as he threatened her life...." -Current title 'Modern Magic' by Nekodra K.D. LaCroix

"...head lulled, his vision swimming before him, seeing three, four, five versions of his attacker drifting in and out in front him; like a swarm of identical ghosts weaving in and out of each other as they sneered at him..." - WOVaN Project by Nekodra K.D. LaCroix

Do those quotes make you want to read the stories? Do they sound good? Are you looking forward to when I post a link that will lead you to buying the books? The WOVaN project, I am hoping will be ready soon. It partly relays on me tracking down this old story I wrote in middle school. I know its in a notebook somewhere, it just a matter of finding it. I never toss my notebooks, even school ones. I just have to find the box they got put in. I was damn proud of the story at the time, and I hope I still am. But I can't recall it well enough to just re-type, I need/want to find the original copy. Which I am working on finding between working on other parts of the project.

Also-- I did get the job I was hoping for! Yay! But I will still of course work on my novel ideas, no worries about that, but it will be nice to have a job again. Less stress which hopefully will lead to being able to work better. ^_^ Anyways, I think I have yammered on enough for today, May the 4th be with you! I am going to go work on 'Modern Magic' and the WOVaN project.

Please remember those quotes came from my novels, they may not be published yet, but they are mine.

~Nekodra K.D. LaCroix

Nekodra-Blog@Hotmail.com

@Nekodra